


Fade to Black

by a_mere_trifle



Series: Fade to Black [3]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Timeline, Angst, Doomed Timelines, F/M, Family, Gen, Introspection, Pesterlog
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-03
Updated: 2012-09-03
Packaged: 2017-11-13 12:53:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/503739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_mere_trifle/pseuds/a_mere_trifle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The thing about the end of the world is it kind of narrows down the possibilities. Doomed timeline, Dave &/<3 Rose.</p><p>TG: youre not even that drunk jesus christ<br/>TT: I am so.<br/>TT: I'm thirteen, I have a low tolerance.<br/>TG: yeah and i have a low tolerance for this bullshit but its not like that matters at all</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fade to Black

**Author's Note:**

> Lyrics are Fade to Black, by Dire Straits, and A Thousand Kisses Deep, by Leonard Cohen.
> 
> All my doomed-timeline stuff is set in the same headspace ("Shades of Grey", "Alone in the World"), so I'm thinking I'll put it in a collection.

TT: Striiiiiiiider.  
TG: oh jesus fuck  
TT: Well that is one impolite greeting.  
TT: Such rudeness!  
TG: look lady of all the things tonight is gonna be polite is not one of them  
TG: i can already tell  
TG: how many have you had  
TT: Nowhere near as many as I'm going to have, baby.  
TG: holy baby jesus in a discotheque  
TG: i should just awol right now  
TT: You wouldn't.  
TG: no but holy shit i really wish i would  
TG: im gonna regret this but what is it  
TT: Do I need to have a reason to call you?  
TT: It's not as if there's anybody else on the fucking planet I can call.  
TT: Or off the fucking planet, for that matter.  
TG: so nothings going on  
TT: Nope.  
TT: I am just sitting in my room with a bottle of sherry and taking songs wildly outside the intended context.  
TG: holy mother of fuck please tell me its not the cohen  
TT: Leonard Cohen?  
TT: No, why?  
TG: look you drink a bottle of tequila im not gonna save you from the consequences  
TG: as far as im concerned that never came close to fucking happening so dont expect help from me  
TT: Then why did you bring it up~?  
TG: jesus christ is that a tilde  
TG: you swear it isnt cohen  
TT: What does that have to do with tildes?  
TT: I mean, could you get a less tilde-y artist.  
TG: did i mention just how much i am never the fuck telling  
TG: it is a quantum world  
TG: billions of possible timelines streaming from every moment  
TG: in none of them do i ever say a fucking word lalonde  
TG: there are a couple in which quantum mechanics try to make me but first i slit my throat  
TG: endless fucking pirouettes of suicide around the will of fate  
TT: Christ, I get it.  
TT: Not Cohen, okay?  
TT: Make like a fine wine and chiiiillll.  
TG: lalonde stop trying to turn into an alcoholic  
TG: youre not doing it right  
TG: youre playing it too broad  
TG: its like watching a cheap knockoff of   
TG: whos that asshole who did all the plays with the alcoholic rednecks  
TT: Kobe Bryant?  
TT: Or possibly Tennessee Williams.  
TT: Not sure at the moment.  
TG: well whatever  
TG: its all  
TG: "whoooo watch me act like a drunken whore who loves me the booooze"  
TG: i dont even know  
TG: its affected as hell  
TT: I assure you, I am totally fucking hammered.  
TG: see  
TG: right there  
TG: thats what im talking about  
TT: Whatever.  
TT: Look, I'm sorry if it's a bother.  
TT: But it's in the genes.  
TG: what is  
TT: Rampant alcoholism.  
TT: Family tradition, baby.  
TG: please for the love of sweet baby buddha stop calling me baby  
TT: Okay, sweetcheeks.  
TG: youre not even that drunk jesus christ  
TT: I am so.  
TT: I'm thirteen, I have a low tolerance.  
TG: yeah and i have a low tolerance for this bullshit but its not like that matters at all  
TT: Do you know what you are being?  
TG: for fucks sake  
TT: A giant meanie, Dave.  
TT: You are being a gigantic meanie.  
TG: dude whenever you end a sentence with my name i read it like hal okay  
TG: strider is juuuusssst fine okay  
TT: Aspiring to Aragorn?  
TG: no i am not boning elves  
TT: There was more to Aragorn than the rampant elf-boning.  
TG: what like being a douche  
TT: Yeah, this can't go anywhere good.  
TG: no shiiiit  
TT: Gloating does not become you, sweetie.  
TG: there is no god  
TT: It's cute when you're optimistic like that.  
TG: oh christ it's one of those nights  
TT: I will have you know it is broad daylight.  
TG: why are you proud of that  
TT: Broaaaaad daylight.  
TT: Midafternoon, local time.  
TG: why are you proud of that  
TT: Getting into the psychoanalysis game?  
TG: im in too many fucking games already  
TT: Good.  
TT: We need our healthy boundaries, you see.  
TT: I'm Freud, you're a dick.  
TT: WHOOPS do you see what I did there  
TG: sloshed  
TT: Hammered.  
TG: why are you proud of that  
TT: Why do you keep asking that?  
TG: cause i am in too fucking many games already  
TG: and we could waltz or tango or whiskey tango foxtrot around this for hours  
TG: but fuck that okay  
TG: i cant  
TG: i can not  
TG: so tell me  
TG: what the fuck are you actually trying to say  
TT: No clue what you mean.  
TG: too wasted right  
TT: Thoroughly trashed.  
TG: why are you proud of that  
TT: Who said I was proud of it?  
TG: jesus lalonde you are flaunting it  
TG: like snooki with a bikini  
TG: like donald trump with a toupee  
TG: like kanye in a room with another person in it  
TG: lalonde  
TG: treat me like a moron and i swear to god im gone  
TT: I thought there was no god.  
TG: you were right i was being optimistic  
TG: there is a god and he fucking hates me  
TT: Quaint naivete.  
TG: why are you proud of it   
TG: why are you trying so fucking hard to turn into an alcoholic  
TT: I'm not.  
TG: shit this is a mother thing isnt it  
TT: Where do you get that idea?  
TG: are you actually too hammered to know or are you being ironic  
TT: I have no idea where you would get that idea.  
TG: okay  
TG: what are you listening to  
TT: It is not Leonard Cohen, for the seventy-teenth time.  
TG: k i believe you  
TG: then what is it  
TT: ...  
TG: lalonde if you wuss out now i swear to christ  
TT: ...I wonder where you are tonight.  
TT: You're probably on the rampage somewhere.  
TT: You have been known to take delight  
TT: In getting in somebody's hair.  
TT: And you always had the knack...  
TG: so not a mother thing at all then  
TT: I concede that it is a mother thing.  
TG: no shiiiiit  
TT: What did I tell you about gloating, sugartits?  
TG: jesus christ i apologize god why would you even do that  
TT: No clue, studmuffin.  
TG: what dark gods have forced me to keep living this long  
TT: I could introduce you.  
TG: as i said last time  
TG: hell  
TG: mother  
TG: uncle  
TG: double  
TG: tentacle  
TG: fucking  
TG: noooooooo  
TT: Suit yourself.  
TT: I wonder if they are.  
TG: what  
TT: Fucking.  
TG: what  
TG: who  
TT: Her.  
TT: Anyone and everyone she's with.  
TT: How the fuck should I know?  
TT: I haven't heard from her in a fucking month.  
TT: Entire fucking worlds burning down and she can't send me a fucking note.  
TT: Email.  
TT: Pigeon.  
TT: Smoke signal.  
TT: Telegram.  
TT: Occult omen of doom.  
TT: Not being fucking HIDDEN from every occult magick I try to throw at her!  
TG: wtf 'magick'  
TT: MAYGGIYCKQUE  
TT: YOU WORKED THIS HARD TO GET AT THE POINT COULD YOU AT LEAST NOT IGNORE IT  
TG: sorry  
TG: its kind of reflexive  
TT: I know  
TT: It's not even a matter of...  
TT: Everything's fucked, what could the harm be in sending me a goddamn note?  
TT: Am I going to be less ~independent~ if I know she's not fucking dead?  
TT: What the fuck does anything matter anymore!  
TT: Christ  
TT: Are you missing the Cohen yet  
TG: no  
TT: Jesus, what the fuck did I do to you?  
TG: do i have to come up with more elaborate ways of saying my lips are fuckin sealed  
TT: shit  
TT: Why can't anything go right  
TT: Just fucking once  
TT: Why can't I just talk to someone and say what I actually mean  
TT: Why can't anything just not be eternally fucked before it started  
TT: Just one thing?  
TG: its okay  
TT: No it's not  
TT: She's fucking avoiding me  
TT: She doesn't even give a fuck  
TT: Or she's been horribly murdered  
TT: And Christ, I don't even know which is worse.  
TT: except NOT FUCKING KNOWING  
TT: I'm sorry  
TT: I'm supposed to be keeping myself together and  
TT: I, keep not doing that  
TT: We need to be together, you and I  
TT: It's not like we've got much longer even to hold on  
TT: Nice shiny end-point set in stone.  
TT: I can wait to lose my mind until then can't I?  
TT: Why can't I even hold out that damn long  
TT: I don't even like this shit why do I keep  
TT: Fuck.  
TT: I need to at least keep you out of this.  
TG: no its okay  
TT: Nothing is fucking okay  
TG: yeah nothing is fucking okay  
TG: and on the scale of shit that is not fucking okay in my life  
TG: rose you are not on the bad end of that one  
TG: you are like the thing in the universe that is most fucking okay right now  
TG: and yeah that might say more about the rest of this shithole timeline than you but its still true  
TG: and i wanted  
TG: fuck   
TG: i fucked up okay  
TG: youre gonna be so pissed at me but im out of my depth here too okay  
TG: i didn't know  
TT: What?  
TG: see youre the most okay thing here  
TG: and i wanted you to  
TG: keep being okay  
TG: and i thought if i told you  
TG: but obviously i was wrong and now i see that so  
TT: Told me WHAT?  
TG: did i tell you about johns dad  
TT: Barely.  
TG: like i said im out of my fucking depth here so far lalonde  
TG: what the fuck do you even do when your dead friends dad comes up and asks you where he is  
TG: what do you do when he calls you a liar  
TG: what do you do  
TG: i dont know what you do but whatever i did it was fucking wrong  
TG: maybe anything i did wouldve been wrong  
TG: like a choose your own adventure book where the only difference in the endings is what you get eaten by  
TT: You said he left.  
TT: You said you were afraid he was going to find John.  
TT: And his denizen.  
TG: yeah  
TG: i didnt tell you he left on a ship  
TT: A ship?  
TG: there was some woman on it with a scarf and i couldnt see her and i dont know what the fuck your mom looks like anyway but the thing about the end of the world is it kinda narrows down the possibilities  
TT: That  
TT: That it does.  
TT: Was your brother there too?  
TG: no  
TG: i found his sword  
TT: What?  
TG: it was sinking into the lava  
TG: but like i said  
TG: the thing about the world ending  
TG: it narrows down the possibilities  
TT: Why didn't you tell me?  
TG: i told you  
TG: youre the least fucked up thing here  
TG: and i need you to keep not being too fucked up  
TG: cause i dont know what the fuck i do if im alone  
TG: i mean dont get me wrong id hold out  
TG: for a long fucking time  
TG: and thats exactly what scares me really  
TT: You know it doesn't really change anything.  
TT: I still don't know what happened to either of them.  
TT: I couldn't find him, either.  
TG: yeah it was stupid i guess  
TG: i dont know  
TG: they were together though  
TG: and doing things  
TG: wherever the fuck it is i dont think its an island honeymoon ignoring you okay  
TT: Yeah.  
TG: were you even drunk in the first place  
TT: What?  
TG: youre typing straight again  
TT: Your news was, sobering.  
TT: And I'm concentrating again.  
TG: was this an elaborate get strider to confess his sins thing  
TT: No.  
TG: i mean it wouldnt exactly be the first time  
TT: I wasn't.  
TG: okay  
TT: In fact I might have to depart for a little while.  
TT: I am still not very good at this  
TG: porcelain party time  
TT: Sure let's go with that.  
TT: Will be back.  
TT: eventually.  
\--tentacleTherapist is now an idle chum!--  
TG: i wish youd fucking share that stuff sometimes  
TG: i know when you actually offer i always  
TG: find some reason to wander off  
TG: cause i want it too much  
TG: and nothing i want that much can be in any way a good idea  
TG: its all too much to think through but im taking that as a moral rule here  
TG: if its something i want i should stay the fuck away from it  
TG: christ why cant calsprite at least be flammable  
TG: why cant i have a fucking moment of quiet  
TG: cause i want it fucking duh  
TG: i want to run the fuck away while youre sleeping  
TG: i want to break down  
TG: i want all of this to end  
TG: and i cant do any of those things  
TG: so its pretty reliable  
TG: see the thing is if you were just playing me here  
TG: and its not like you havent tried to trick info out of me before  
TG: this would be exactly what youd do  
TG: cause if you give me a silence ill fill it  
TG: give me a rope and ill fucking hang myself  
TG: theres no such thing as silence anyway  
TG: too many echoes  
TT: What did I do to you?  
TG: oh god damn could you at least let me pretend this never happened  
TT: No, that's the point.  
TT: This happened.  
TT: All of this happened.  
TT: It ALWAYS will have happened.  
TT: Take the whole timeline down and it still will have happened.  
TT: All of it.  
TT: Everything.  
TT: Erased or not.  
TT: It all will still have happened.  
TT: Perhaps you don't believe that.  
TT: But you're going to find out.  
TT: So I should help you deal with that while I still can.  
TG: thats really bullshit  
TG: and stop destroying my dreams  
TT: You really want none of this ever to have happened?  
TG: of course i fucking do  
TG: dont you  
TT: It doesn't work that way.  
TG: well its gonna  
TT: They say that memories lost to drunkenness can be retrieved, sometimes, when in a similar state.  
TG: bullshit  
TT: I pulled you against me.  
TT: I was swaying, rather arrhythmically.   
TT: I was singing, and I can't vouch for the quality of that either.  
TT: Did I go through every verse I know?  
TG: sure felt like it  
TT: I hear their voices in the wine, that sometimes did me seek.  
TT: The band is playing Auld Lang Syne: the heart will not retreat.  
TG: theres no forsaking  
TT: What you love.  
TT: No existential leap.  
TT: As witnessed here...  
TG: in time and blood  
TT: You can't erase it.  
TG: watch me try  
TT: I don't want to.  
TT: You're only hurting yourself.  
TG: it never happened  
TG: its never going to have happened  
TG: the whole fucking timeline is going down on a subatomic level lalonde  
TG: it is never going to have happened  
TT: We'll remember.  
TG: well be fucking dead  
TT: Not all of us.  
TG: lalonde what the fuck is with this mystic shit   
TT: It's how it works, Dave.  
TT: It really is.  
TG: it is not now stop trying to depress me  
TT: It's the opposite of depressing.  
TG: bullshiiiiiiit  
TG: by which i mean  
TG: i would like to register my difference of opinion  
TG: and i am just terribly sorry we differ on this fundamental point of philosophy  
TG: but we do  
TG: and basically fuck off  
TT: :P  
TG: huh maybe you have been drinking  
TT: Or perhaps I am matching your level of intellectual discourse.  
TG: bluh bluh  
TG: youre just using the fact that i cant just tell you to stfu and ditch your ass  
TT: As if I'm the only one, you huge bitch.  
TG: well thats just uncalled for  
\--tentacleTherapist is now an idle chum!--  
TT: Ugh...  
TT: this is rapidly becoming untenable.  
TT: How long has it been since you slept?  
TG: um  
TT: Remember our agreement Dave?  
TG: oh come on im thinking  
TT: Let me quite:  
TT: *quote:  
TT: TG: okay yeah fine  
TT: TG: if it takes me more than thirty seconds to answer its probably been too long  
TT: TT: You promise to abide by this?  
TT: TG: jesus fine  
TG: god damn  
TG: how can you even quote that so fucking fast  
TG: do you like keep that log open all the time just in case  
TT: Among others.  
TT: Look.  
TT: I need to sleep this off.  
TT: You need to sleep.  
TT: How about we meet on the flip side?  
TG: i really hate it when you try to sound hip  
TT: "ok lalonde thank you"  
TT: You're quite welcome.  
TG: shit dont fucking try to translate me  
TT: "i am pretty tired lets doze off"  
TT: I quite agree.  
TG: god i hate you sometimes  
TT: do I even really have to tell you what you obviously mean by that?  
TG: im just not even gonna ask  
TG: nightynight lalonde okay  
TG: dont strangle yourself in that fucking yarn  
TT: Nightyknight.  
TG: christ you really were hammered  
TT: ;)  
TG: this is gonna be an unbearable nights sleep


End file.
